Chapter 19 (NC-17)

TW: Dubious consent, references to car accident and death.

(Tuesday, April 6th, 03:11)

ZHCh 19Kirishima sat in his office, reviewing his records on Jin and the sources he’d used.  He was having trouble concentrating and it wasn’t because it was after 03:30.  There was a knock.  He looked at the door, pushing up his glasses.  Maseo.  He could feel him somehow on the other side.  The door opened.

“Can I come in?”

Kirishima hesitated.  “As long as you don’t attack me again.”  A blush was already spreading across his cheeks.

“I’m not planning to so don’t worry about that.”  Maseo sat down in the chair in front of his desk.  Kirishima folded his arms trying to ignore the heat starting to course through his body.

Maseo gazed at him steadily.  “He shouldn’t be touching you like that.”

“Who?” said Kirishima though he knew very well who he was talking about.

“Kazumi.  I know you’re close but he shouldn’t be putting his hands on you.”

Kirishima stared at Maseo.  “Are you…jealous?”

“Maybe.  I guess so.”  Maseo looked past him, out the window at the neon lights of West Shinjuku.  “Yes, that’s probably accurate.”

“Is that what you came to tell me? Not to let my second-in-command touch me?”

“Well, actually I came to say goodbye,” said Maseo, “but it seemed to be a good time to bring it up.”

“You came to say goodbye but you’re jealous of my best friend?!”  Kirishima stood up and began pacing.  He was shaking his head, incredulous.  “You realize this is crazy, don’t you?”

“How so?”

Kirishima stopped, eyes wide.  He couldn’t believe he was even having this conversation.  “You really have no idea, do you?” he finally said.

“No.” Maseo was leaning his chin on his hand which rested on the arm chair.  He was completely unfazed.  “It doesn’t matter if it’s crazy or not, Kei.”

“And why is that?”

“You practically belong to me.”

Kirishima went to stand in front of the chair.  Maseo looked up at him, letting his glasses slip down his nose. Kirishima took a deep breath.  It wasn’t a good idea he decided, standing so close.  Maybe Maseo wasn’t as beautiful as his boss but he was still beautiful.  He could smell his warm, sweet scent.  He tried to summon some of his coldness.

“I don’t belong to anyone.  Not to you, not to my best friend.”

Maseo stood up, making Kirishima take a couple of steps back until he was up against his desk.  “Of course you do, Kei.”  He came closer, taking off his glasses.  “Very nearly, that is.” Maseo grabbed his wrist then pressed against him, sliding his arm around his waist.  Kirishima gasped.  He was already hard.  Maseo let go of his wrist and yanked Kirishima’s glasses off, tossing them on the desk.  He fought the desire and heat rising in his body. He turned his head away when Maseo went to kiss him.

“Let go!” Kirishima tried pushing him away but he couldn’t move.  He was trapped between his desk, which pressed against his lower back, and Maseo’s very warm body.  Maseo had stopped trying to kiss him on the mouth and had buried his face in his neck.  He was pressing his silky lips up and down, leaving little kisses.

“Ahh!” Kirishima let out a cry as the pleasure washed through him.  Maseo’s sweet scent was intensifying.  His body was reacting with longing and desire.

“Mine.” Maseo said the word softly in his ear. Kirishima was still fighting him but his resolve was weakening.  He tried to hold onto whatever anger he had left.

“Don’t belong to you,” he gasped, “Let go of me!”

Maseo grabbed his chin and he fought harder. “Kei, I don’t want to hurt you but I might if you keep struggling like that.” He licked Kirishima’s lips with a flick of his tongue. “Open your mouth a little. That’s it.” Maseo pressed his lips against his.

“Mrrmphh!  Mmmph!” Kirishima opened up immediately, accepting Maseo’s velvety tongue, and kissed him deeply, eagerly, pressing up against him. His knees were starting to buckle from the intense wave of lust that gripped him.  Maseo felt hot, exquisitely hard.  He could feel him throbbing through his clothes.

“I could take you right now, on this desk,” said Maseo.  “You want me to, don’t you?”

He whimpered. Maseo was undoing his pants and in a moment he was thrusting his cock into Maseo’s hot hand.  His silky fingers applied exquisite pressure, stroking up and down his shaft.

“Why are you…doing this?” Kirishima managed to say, “You’re just going to…leave.”

Maseo didn’t reply.  Instead, he held him tight, still stroking.  Kirishima leaned on his shoulder, unable to control his cries.  Waves of pleasure shivered up and down his body.  His face burned.  He thrust and thrust, holding onto Maseo as the tension built up inside him.  “Haah!  Hah!” He was desperate to cum, desperate to give into him.  He felt a shift deep in his heart.  Tears were starting to run down his face.

“Can’t…fall!” Kirishima gasped. He continued to struggle which only made the lust worse.

“Not sure what you mean by that Kei,” said Maseo, his soft mouth pressed against his lips.  His tongue probed his mouth slowly, teasing him before thrusting deeper. Kirishima responded, putting his arms around neck.

“Tell me what you want,” said Maseo.

He was still thrusting into Maseo’s soft hand, crying out from the pleasure. His cock was hard and thick. Maseo was gripping him and stroking steadily.

“Please…s-stop,” Kirishima said, his voice rough and low.

“No, I won’t. Say it, Kei. Tell me.”

He went to kiss him but Maseo pulled away. Kirishima’s breath was coming out in deep gasps. “Tell me,” Maseo said again.

“Please…I want to…bed…with you,” Kirishima choked out.  Maseo kissed him again and he yielded. “Mmmmrrh!”  His face burned and he kissed Maseo like he’d never kissed anyone before.  They were holding each other tight, their tongues and mouths melting together.  Deeper, harder, more and more. He felt like he was giving everything to him, every part of his body and soul. He was letting himself give in.

“AHHHHAAAAHHHAA!!!” Kirishima screamed.  Spurts of his hot cum pumped all over Maseo’s hand.  He jerked, still thrusting.  He kept crying out as the pleasure released again and again, rushing through his body.  He slumped against Maseo, trembling violently, as his climax subsided.

His heart was pounding painfully. He took deep breaths to calm down. When his heart stopped racing, he opened his eyes, not really seeing anything.  He knew he was still in his office and that his life was still the same but at the same time it wasn’t.  A deep sadness came over him.

Maseo said nothing.  He’d licked off his fingers and was now holding him gently.  He could still feel Maseo’s hard cock throbbing against him and his musky scent seemed to fill the air around them.

“Are you…going to take me?” said Kirishima. His voice was shaking. He had to keep leaning against Maseo’s warm body because he wasn’t sure if he could stand on his own.

“Do you want me to?”


“You’re lying, Kei. You shouldn’t lie to me.” Maseo sighed. “If I take you now it will make things worse so I won’t.”

Kirishima tried to pull away but Maseo tightened his hold on him.

“You’re still going to leave, aren’t you?” said Kirishima.


Kirishima swallowed hard.  “You keep seducing me and saying goodbye.”

“I’m sorry.  I don’t want to leave but it’s necessary.  I’ve been involved in this situation for far too long.”

“Why did you attack me again?”

“You belong to me and it seemed the best way to make you understand that. Or that’s what I was thinking.  Maybe I was jealous like you said.  I don’t know,” said Maseo.  He sounded tired.

Kirishima had given up trying to control his emotions.  He felt raw and open, almost naked.  He desperately wanted to let himself fall in love, and if Maseo would stay, he knew would give his heart and soul to him.  He closed his eyes to try to shut out the pain.

Maseo squeezed him tighter.  “I’m hurting you with my actions.  If it helps, it hurts me too.”

“It doesn’t help.”

They stood together in silence.  He knew he should pull away but he couldn’t.  He wanted to stay in Maseo’s arms, pressed up against him.

“You said you don’t want to fall. Are you talking about falling in love?” asked Maseo.

Kirishima didn’t reply.  Instead, he tried to push him away.  Maseo refused to let go.

“Are you in love with me?”

“N-No, I barely know you.”

“Doesn’t matter.  People sometimes fall in love at first sight.  I’ve seen it.”

“I don’t…love you,” said Kirishima.  Saying those words was extremely difficult for some reason.  Pain wrenched through him.

Maseo released him.  Kirishima turned away as he wiped his eyes and zipped up his pants. He went back to sit at his desk.  He looked at Maseo, trying to steel his emotions. “Love doesn’t matter,” he said, his voice flat, “It’s just a troublesome emotion, getting in the way.”

Maseo had sat back down in the chair and was leaning on his hand, watching him.  “You sound just like Ryuichi.  You know that’s not true.  Love is everything.”

Kirishima clenched his jaw. “If it’s so important then why are you leaving?”

“I don’t want to, believe me.”

Kirishima leaned forward, fisting his hands. “Then don’t!  Just…stay with me.”

They sat looking at each other. Kirishima felt a wave of sadness. There was something odd about it, like it hadn’t come from him but from somewhere outside himself. It was almost like how he knew Maseo was the one knocking at his door…

He stood up abruptly and went to the window. He looked out at the view of the city not seeing it at all. He worked to fight down the sudden panic rising up inside.

“I’ve frightened you.”

Kirishima closed his eyes. He heard Maseo stand up, no, he felt Maseo stand up and walk towards him. He could feel where he was as he moved closer.

“It’s all right, Kei.”

“No.  It’s not. You’re leaving.  It’s not…all right.”

He felt Maseo’s hand on his lower back.  Warmth and sweetness rolled through him.  He sighed, letting himself relax a little.

Maseo circled his arms around his waist, resting his head on his shoulder. “ He told me never to fall in love,” he said.

“Who did?”

“My father.”

Kirishima went still.  It was the last thing he thought Maseo would say.

“He loved my mother more than anything. They had an unbreakable bond but he kept leaving her and coming back. It was terrible to watch. She suffered from him being away. Being bonded like that means they couldn’t be apart for very long.”

“If that’s true why did he keep leaving her especially if he loved her so much?”

“He had to.”

“Was there some kind of family disapproval or something?”

“I suppose you could say that.”

Maseo kissed his ear.  His warmth and musky scent were starting to arouse him.  Kirishima took a soft, shuddering breath, trying check the feeling.

“After a while he came back and said he was staying for good, and that we would be a real family. She was so happy. He took us to the amusement park that evening. They were both glowing with happiness.”

Kirishima began caressing Maseo’s soft hands. The office and the reason why they were there in the first place seemed to fade away.

Maseo shifted against him.  He felt a wave of lust.  Again, it didn’t seem to be coming from him.

Kirishima leaned back.  It felt good to be in Maseo’s arms.  Desire was coursing through him.  The bottom of his glasses were fogging up.

“Kei, we can’t.”

“We’re not doing anything,” he said.  He was looking out the window into the night, eyes half closed.

“You want to.”

Kirishima squeezed Maseo’s hands. “Wanting and doing are two different things.”

“I need to finish my story.”

“Go ahead.”

“We were at the amusement park and my father was going to stay for good.”

“He didn’t?”

“No.” Maseo spoke the word as a whisper.

“What happened?”

“She died. That night. She was hit by a car.” Maseo paused. “It’s so strange but other than the accident and her dying, I don’t remember much else except the smell of sweets and the amusement park music.”

Kirishima remained silent, waiting.  The desire had subsided.

“She died in his arms.  He was holding her so tightly while she lay there, eyes open, after she was gone.  He wouldn’t let go so they had to pull her away from him.  My father was inconsolable.  We went away together but he brought me back here after a while. I thought we would continue on but he left me with a childless couple.  He never came back.”

“How old were you?”


Kirishima felt the sting of tears in his eyes.  He blinked them away.  He hadn’t realized how similar they were with their losses though his had come when he was older.

“It was difficult.  My foster parents were kind but it was so hard getting used to everything.  And I missed both of my parents.  Everything changed when I was 13.”

“What happened?”

“Ryuichi moved into the mansion across the street.  My foster parents were very well off though not as wealthy as his family.  We were introduced right away and we…bonded quickly.  I needed someone strong and he was my anchor, of sorts.”

Kirishima turned to stare at Maseo.  “You grew up with Asami-sama?”

“Yes.  He had many admirers but very few friends.  I was, am, one of them.”

“If that’s true, why haven’t we met before?”

“I had…things to do.  Important things, and he needed to focus on getting the organization going.”

“What things?”

“I can’t tell you that, Kei.  I’ve already said too much and I don’t want to talk about Ryuichi’s private life.  You understand?”

Kirishima had gone back to looking out the window.  “I understand.”  He thought for a moment.  “Did your father die too?”

“No, he’s still alive.”

“Are you sure? It sounds like you haven’t had contact with him.”

“I haven’t but I know he’s not dead.”

“Do you think you’ll try to talk to him, find out why he left?”

“No.  I know why he left so there’s nothing to talk about.”

Kirishima looked down at the floor.  “He left you, told you never to fall in love, and you’re not going to try to talk him?”

“That’s right.”

“Something about that seems wrong, Maseo.”

“It’s the way things are, Kei.”  Maseo made this statement with a cold finality that reminded him of his boss.  Kirishima pulled out of his arms and moved closer to the glass.  He stared down at the traffic below.

“He told me never to fall in love. The person would just suffer, like my mother did, because of the bond that forms.  This is why I can’t stay.  We haven’t completely bonded yet so I should leave now.”

“I think your father was wrong about that. I’m not like your mother.”  Kirishima laid his hand on the cold glass.

“He wasn’t wrong, Kei. You’re just going to have to trust me.  I’m sorry I started all this.  I know it’s unfair and I shouldn’t have but I wanted you so much.  I couldn’t stand it anymore.  Watching you from afar wasn’t enough.  I needed you to see me, talk to me.  When I touched you for the first time in the garage, I thought that would be end but it wasn’t.  I wanted more and more, and you were so responsive.  I had to take you to bed.”  Maseo took a deep breath.  “For the first time in my life I understand what my father went through.  He only wanted her.  He couldn’t stop himself.  When we left after she died, he was desolate and broken.”

“Your parents were in love.”


Kirishima remained where he was, staring steadily out the window.

“You and I…we aren’t in love.”

Silence.  He could have glanced in the window reflection to see Maseo’s reaction to this statement but he didn’t.  He inhaled slowly, letting himself be distracted by the neon lights of the city.  He could feel Maseo backing away from him.

“Since that’s true, Kei, then it makes no difference if I leave now.”

“You’re right,” said Kirishima.  He turned to face him, clasping his hands behind his back.  “It was…very nice meeting, Maseo-san.  I wish you…,” he stopped.  There was a catch in his throat.  He swallowed.  “I wish you the very best of luck in all your endeavors.”

Maseo was staring at him, his eyes filled with hurt.  Kirishima could see tears welling up in his black eyes.

The space between them seemed to grow wider and colder.  Maseo didn’t reply.  Instead, he turned away and let himself out the door, closing it softly.

Kirishima clenched his teeth.  He was breathing too hard.  He ran to the door, throwing it open.  “Mas-“ he started to call but he was nowhere to be seen.  He moved quickly down the long hallway and onto the main floor.  He looked everywhere and asked the floor staff about it but none of them had seen Maseo leave.

He called security downstairs and asked them to call him when they saw Maseo exit the building.  When Kirishima called him back 20 minutes later, the guard said he hadn’t seen him.

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