It’s the end of the story. Zero Hour. All done. Finished. The Extras (Omake, Blog Post about Eastern Promises, Deleted Scene, and Roundtable Discussion) have all been posted.
You think, the end of the story comes with some bittersweetness. On one hand, there’s a feeling of the proud parent, standing there watching your kid move out into the world. On the other hand, there’s the feeling of goodbye. You won’t be working this intensely on the story again for the foreseeable future. Maybe never again.
And you love this story and these characters. There’s so much more to look forward to with the next story in this series but these scenarios will never occupy your thoughts the same way.
One of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do was to decide to share Ordinary Silences. I was really, really happy how the story turned out. I was even happier when I found Missly, my Beta, so posting the story on the Yamane Ayano LiveJournal Community seemed to be the right next step. I was terrified. I think I even delayed things a bit as a way to hold off the inevitable (kind of like how I delayed launching this website).
Thing is, with my non-yaoi fiction I’ve never felt like I needed to share it. I had some of the stories critiqued and I’d read them to friends but never to the larger world. Writing yaoi fiction (fanfiction) created an urgency I hadn’t seen before. I had to share it even while resisting mightily. I had to put these stories out in the world.
I don’t know why. Maybe it has something to do with being in the right place, finding my place in this world…as a writer of guy-on-guy romance and sex. It’s all very strange. This is not the place where I thought I’d end up.
Back to the end of the story. Much in the same way that putting out these stories into the world is necessary, the stories don’t end. If my website stats are any indication, people will keep finding us and keep spending time reading. In this way, the stories will keep going on. New readers will have different reactions to them. Maybe sometimes people will come back and re-read them and notice other things about them.
This is my hope anyway.
You never know what’s going to happen. Since I started writing these fanfiction stories, posted them on LiveJournal, and launched this website, all manner of amazing things have happened. New friends have been found, wonderful communities have been discovered, and through it all I curl up with my yaoi manga to read more. And I sit here in front of my giant computer screen tapping out words, new stories for everyone to read. I can’t wait to see where I am next year at this time.